 
Desperately Seeking the Perfect Valentine (by Holly Love)
With a name like Holly Love you would think I have fantastic ideas for Valentine’s Day. Quite the contrary!
Like everyone else, I run out to CVS the day before, pick up whatever is left over and wrap it for the next day.
After carefully surveying my fellow coworkers for last year's “Love Stories” article, I realized that it didn't matter what a gal gave, he wouldn’t remember the gift anyway! So this year I sent out a couple of emails to my friends and asked what comes to mind when they thought about Valentine’s Day.
Oh boy did I get some answers!
Sex was the number one answer. I also found that it sparked some deep dark feelings of bad gifts given.
One friend was given a nipple ring. "WHAT?" I screamed! (Followed by the obvious question, "Are you into piercings?”) She quickly responded with a no and told me that she was no longer with that person. Gosh, I hope he is not wondering why!
In my early twenties I thought giving a gift of coupons was the best. Umm no! Coupons are not cute by any means. Let's face facts, I don't want a naked back massage, nor do I want to give you the foot rub and I am sure as hell not making you dinner in the nude. So coupons are out!
And dear God, please stop with the edible everything. Gross! It does not taste like fruit roll-ups and the lotions are not exactly moisturizing. Sticky and gooey is not romantic by any stretch of the imagination. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I do love that some guys still think it's okay to give a giant stuffed animal. Let's face facts: you get it, adore it for 15 minutes and then it takes up space in the back of the closet, eventually finding its way in a yard sale. Just imagine having your boss and his wife over and there, sitting on the couch, is a big giant stuffed dog. Come on… not cute.
Flowers will kindly do for most of us females but please no carnations. If you have been married for over 5 years, no wait, if you are married, no carnations! They cost a buck and boy nothing says I love you more than $12. I’d prefer you put the twelve bucks in a card and give it to me. That's at least worth two enjoyable cups of coffee and donuts in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the bad purchases you might have already made, but who knows, maybe your significant other really wanted that heart shaped cookie.
My suggestion, without being a professional, is a simple "I love you" and some time on the couch together. That is, of course, if you don't hate each. In that case, there are plenty of couches in the phonebook that can help you with that scenario.
Now off to CVS!
Happy Valentine's Day!
 Love, Holly
READ PREVIOUS "LOVE SHOTS" POST > “The Other Woman”
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